Lecture and abstract of the conference entitled:
Demography and the Culture of Relationship between Couples
27-29 May 2021, Hungary
Organized by Family Science Alliance, Batthyány Society of Professors and European Family Science Society
Recommended solutions to strengthen families
The motto of our pressentation is “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) When raising children, parents are the number one persons, they have the greatest impact on them.
Why is it important to educate our children sexually? Sexuality affects not only the individual but another person or persons as well! Contrary to popular belief, sexuality affects not only our bodies but also our souls, our spirituality. As parents we need to see the whole picture so that we can help our children to have healthy sexuality education and to form their biological identity and orientation.
What can parents do for their child’s healthy sexual development? Infancy is the period when sexual role learning takes place, and what the child sees and experiences from the environment plays a huge role in this! We teach our children already in the womb whether we are aware of it or not! Research shows that our brains already develop in the womb and will reach 90% of its size by the age of four! The events and experiences acquired in this age will greatly shape the functioning of our brain, our behavior, our reactions.
God entrusted reproduction to a man and a woman. A healthy, God-ordained parent couple consists of a mother and a father, a man and a woman. We also consider the role of the father important from the very beginning.
Whether we know it or not, we educate our children sexually from the moment they are born with our speech, our behavior, and our attitude!
It is not evident if someone is a Christian, and he/she thinks properly and will not start a form of a dysfunctional family! Christian education can never mean mental/spiritual subjugation, unjustified discipline, intimidation, shame, legislation!
If it turns out no child of the expected sex was born, they often make the mistake of telling this to the child. The child may feel he is inappropriate, he was not expected, and wants to prove it. Usually, this information can provoke two kinds of reactions from the child: he may become self-subjugated just to suit his parents, or a rebel, and by his rebellion he wants to prove that he is indeed important and valuable. The child may start to imagine how much everything could be done differently, how much different it would be if it were of the opposite sex!
If physical and/or emotional neglecting occurs between the age of 0-4 years, the stress response system and hormone levels cannot return to normal which would help the long-term emotional bond between the child and the parents, it may have serious consequences like reactive attachment disorder.
Practical Guidelines for Early Childhood: Don’t talk carelessly about biological sex of your child! Accept the biological sex of your child, even if you wanted a child of the opposite sex! Don’t punish because of his/her biological sex! Treat them according to biological sex, dress them according to their biological sex, give them tasks appropriate to their biological sex! Bestow them with loving touch! Spend as much quality time with your child as possible in their first years! It’s good for them to see the mutual love and trust to each other! No far-reaching conclusions should be drawn from role playing games! Role playing at this age is perfectly normal! Through role playing games they learn empathy and respect for each other. Teach your children that no one should touch their genitals.
We are parents for a lifetime! As long as we live, we have the opportunity to improve and reassure our children of our love and acceptance! Let’s not delay, and express today to our children that it is an honor to be their parents!
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